apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
