he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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