So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
