I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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