i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
