C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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