i was born a porn star she said
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize