I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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