the new term for farting is butt boxing.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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