I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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