just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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