I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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