you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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