I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
