You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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