And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
