What did we do last night that was yellow?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
