just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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