when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
There's even glitter on my cock...
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