I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
