its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
