Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my shit smells like andre
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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