Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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