My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
