how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
