you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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