OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
