Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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