she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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