I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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