I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
