If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
