you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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