Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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