He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
