It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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