oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Boobs speak an international language.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My life is pants optional.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
