How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
