you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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