maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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