Non-Jews are for practice
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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