Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
