she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
