I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
