So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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