I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I want to fling myself into the sun
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
