It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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