My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
