First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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