dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
