Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
