hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
