I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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