Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
