Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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