It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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