But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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