Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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