You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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